Dead Last Ninja Naruto!
by The Lord Of Pages
Summary: Three years ago, a ninja was defeated by a single man. The strongest member of his village was rendered beaten by only a single punch. That ninja then was given advice on how to live his life. Since then, he has became a hero. Namely, Dead Last Ninja, C-Rank 100. His only friends are Mumen Rider, C-Rank number 1...And Tatsumaki, Tornado of Terror, S Class Rank 2!


So with this story, I end my long hiatus from writing Naruto related stories, and with the help of my trusted beta The Swordslinger, we present to you, something…a little new.

A One Punch Man and Naruto crossover…where Naruto is not god-moddnng, isn't a sage, hell he's not even a chakra user.

This Naruto is someone we decided to be a little fresh about, and as such he's inspired by characters like Sakuya Izayoi, Dio Brando, and if you've been paying attention to where his interests and mine align… A little bit of Papyrus and Sans from Undertale.

To cut off the pairing related question at its knees, Tatsumaki X Naruto will be the only pairing besides maybe Fubuki X Saitama.

I'm not even sure I want this to be a long story or just a long one-shot, depending on what people like about it, we'll see about continuing this.

Let's not waste any more time whatsoever, and break out the fine wine and champagne to celebrate my inglorious return to Naruto fanfiction.

The Lord Of Pages doesn't own Naruto or One Punch Man, the first sadly belongs to Kishimoto, and the latter belongs to Yusake Murata and ONE.

Ages for who cares about that sort of thing.

Naruto Uzumaki: 25.

Tatsumaki: 28.

Saitama: 25.

Genos:19.

Fubuki: 23.

X-x-X-X-x

When one was to describe the absolute worst hero in the entire Hero Association, they would always, as if drawn by the hilariously twisted goddess known as Fate, point towards the C-rank hero, Dead Last Ninja.

Voted the laziest and most boring hero three years running, and never once moving past his lowest spot of C-rank 100, it was often rumored that he was going to be put into a rank even below that. D, D for Dead Last.

Dead Last Ninja was about as unassuming as it got, wearing little more than a red hoodie with a spiral pattern to it, baggy black shorts that hung loosely, every-day flip-flops, and a light blue bandanna around his neck. He seemed weaker than even a small puppy with his skinny appearance.

His blond hair hung in limp spiky clumps, his blue eyes always had a dopey half-lidded gaze to them, giving him a warm if not seemingly friendly appearance. His whiskered cheeks were about his only attractive feature, and with his completely unguarded appearance that bordered on disheveled he seemed to be completely worthless.

He possessed a tanned complexion and a scrawny body that seemed shorter than an adult male his age should be, not helped by his lackluster posture, his constant slouch, and his absolutely lazy manner of walking and speaking.

But then, many did wonder. Why did he associate so openly with and bug Tornado of Terror so much? He always found her no matter where she went to, and somehow was something that many people thought she was too strong to have.

Her friend, or so he claimed to be.

In an interview he had, his only one in fact, when asked about where he thought he was good enough to be around someone as popular as Tatsumaki herself, he only said with a soft laugh, "Tatsu-chan? She's just a lil' kid at heart, she had to grow up way too fast, ya know? So I think, that if I just tell her bad jokes, and make her laugh, one day she'll get rid of all that stuff that's bugging her, ya know? Ahaha…"

The interview was cut short when A-rank hero number one Handsomely Handsome Sweet Mask was seen down the street, but Dead Last Ninja didn't seem to care as the reporters chased after him.

When he wasn't with Tatsumaki, people saw him hanging around C-rank Number One Mumen Rider. The two appeared to be absolute best friends, and they were often observed busting criminals together or were seen having meals together, usually at a small Udon place Naruto liked.

If he wasn't with Mumen Rider, then he seemed to enjoy bugging the crap out of S-Rank Sixteen, Metal Bat were observed to have a relationship based around mutual respect, although what someone as strong as Metal Bat saw in the weakest hero, none of the gossip mongers could guess.

When asked why he was even a hero to begin with, when he put in the absolute minimum of bare effort to do his job, Dead Last Ninja merely smiled and said, "It's because that guy will one day be a hero too, I'm waiting for that guy, because he is…the strongest man in this world, and the only true hero I consider worth following."

His words were innocently phrased, but they caught a lot of flak from the media and fellow heroes, including Tank-Top Tiger, specifically because many thought he was being too arrogant, to think that he the absolute lowest ranked hero in the entire association considered himself above them. He laughed off the media attention and scrutiny he received, unconcerned whatsoever of their opinions on the matter. Eventually interest waned when he didn't bother do anything more than the bare minimum, and so he went ignored again.

And so Dead Last Ninja remained at the absolute bottom of the ranking, three years of hero work and he had never done anything more noteworthy than attracting minor media attention every now and then for his underachieving attitude.

X-x-X-X-x

"Yo~! Tatsu-chan! We up for pancakes today?" Casually dodging a chunk of rock flung his way with a soft laugh, Dead Last Ninja walked towards the far smaller and currently floating woman hero, Tatsumaki.

A small, and very petite woman, some people even said she looked barely legal. Tatsumaki only wore a tight black dress that showed she had virtually no breasts to speak of, but her hips were at least thick, rounded, and meaty, with a particularly large backside that pushed against her dress. Wild and extremely curly green locks flowed around her head, while a distinct green aura coated her body until she plopped down onto a chair placed on an outdoor patio.

Crossing her arms with an irritated gleam to her green eyes, the woman none the less let Dead Last Ninja sit across from her, the blond haired man scratching at some slight stubble on his cheeks with a lazy laugh.

"To think you actually won that bet of ours, you worthless whoreson, and I have to pay for our breakfast for a week at my favorite breakfast café… this vile humiliation will be paid for, you spineless dog." Her words were caustic, her tone venomous, her tongue acidic, and her gaze mercurial but he just laughed and told her a terrible joke.

"So two guys walk into a bar, right? One of them doesn't have an arm, the other doesn't have a leg, so the bartender asks them 'So how you guys lost those?' one guy answers, 'I had to pay for my wife's divorce settlement, so I sold an arm.' The other replies, 'I had to give my leg to pay for my son's college schooling.' And then the bartender shows he's a quadriplegic, and he says. 'I had to sell all of my limbs to pay for the bar!' Hahah! Good, right?" Her eyes merely narrowed at him, and after a few awkward seconds passed he rubbed the back of his head without shame, "Well no one ever said comedy was easy, one of these days Tatsu-chan, I'll make ya crack a smile or laugh at one of my routines."

She retorted with a swift and merciless reply, "Doubtful someone as weak as you could ever make me laugh outside of how pathetic you are." She crossed her legs in a manner that would make any man amazed by the dominance. Crossing her arms for good measure to glare at him all the more sternly.

"Sticks and stones Tatsu-chan, sticks and stones. Of course you'd know a lot about that with how much you like to throw them at me!" He chuckled out then motioned for a waiter to come by, after they placed their meals he looked up at the sky with an easy-going grin. "Birds are chirpin', clouds are moving across the sky, on a nice day like this…I think we're gonna have a real good time. Three years Tatsu-chan, they went by so fast…To think we basically started the entire association in that time… man, things came and went in a flash."

Scoffing she took a sip from her glass of water, her eyes pinning him down without remorse, "All that time and you barely once did anything more dangerous than punch out a distracted criminal. It's amazing someone like you even functions, what with being as uselessly weak as you are."

He merely reached out and patted her head, making her swat at him childishly, "Now, now, Tatsu-chan, I'm not that bad, besides when that guy comes, I might rise up through the ranks to chase after him and then I might be an S-rank like you too."

She finally snapped, the tables around them floating up along with the costumers and their meals, uncaring of their panic or the fact that few people could tell her to stop, Tatsumaki ranted furiously at him, "That guy, this man, the person, who even is he?! Is he someone imaginary or someone weaker than you? You only ever care about talking about that man, I've never even heard of him, if I haven't, and I can read people's minds to see if they have heard of him, then how does someone as strong as you say he is go unnoticed?! He doesn't exist, and if you'd get your brain back into reality, maybe you wouldn't be Dead Last! Believe in someone like Blast! He's at least real!"

Throwing back his head he laughed even harder at her outburst, as her face had grown extremely simplistic with a pulsing vein over her head, she snapped back to normal and glared darkly at him as he replied with that annoying easy-going grin of his stuck on his big stupid dumb face, "He's as real as you or me Tatsu-chan, maybe even more so. He's not a hero yet, that's why no one has ever heard of him, but when he joins the association, people like me will flock to him…Because he's strong, and being strong attracts everyone... Sides, you're the Blast groupie, I've gotta have my own guy to follow, right?"

His smile irritated her even more, because he seemed to truly be unconcerned with her fury, reaching out he patted her again, his eyes closed into happy little upside down U's. Thankfully by now her powers had waned and everyone was settled down again.

"You really are an insufferable man Naruto!" Her tone spoke of immense displeasure until he merely laughed and poured a cup of coffee for them, the steaming brew having been set down earlier at his request. He took a deep sip of his coffee while her eyes glowed, her own cup being lifted and letting her drink from it without needing to actually lift it to her lips.

"Right, right, I'm so insufferable that one time I lost one of our bets I paid for our breakfast for an entire year, which really cut into my savings too ya know. This is just for one week since you lost our bet over a game of Mario Kart." His cheery tone made her eyes shrink before she pointed at him angrily, leaping to her feet and ranting childishly.

"THAT WAS BECAUSE YOU BEAT ME IN THAT STUPID UNFAIR BROKEN VIDEO GAME YOU BLOND HAIRED GOOF! YOU THINK I, THE GREAT S-RANK NUMBER TWO TORNADO OF TERROR TATSUMAKI, LOST TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE BETTER!? YOU JUST WON BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT GAME BETTER! STUPID PEON! YOU'LL PAY NEXT BET!"

Every word was punctuated by a furious swipe of her hands at his chest, her tiny fists beating on him relentlessly and making him laugh and wheeze, tears leaking from his eyes when she began squeezing his cheeks tightly.

"HAHAHAHA! So cute, so very, very cute! I love hanging with you!"

His words made her angrily slam her fists even harder against his chest which of course prompted even more boisterous laughter, this gag routine continued until their breakfast arrived, and she angrily bit into a stack of pancakes. While they ate together Naruto sipped from a cup of coffee and grinned into it with a wry gaze to his eyes.

"So what is so important to you about this oh so powerful hero?" she asked with her eyes narrowed and her cheeks stuffed like a hamsters with delicious syrup slathered goodness. She greedily swallowed her bite and started chugging down juice. When she was done, she drank more coffee.

"Well Tatsu-chan…it's because he was, the guy…Who made me change from my stupid younger self, and made me become a hero." He said between sips and bites of his own breakfast. Naturally he liked Belgian waffles, and he was already chomping on the strawberry that came with them.

Her eyes said she didn't believe him, but he was used to it. Frankly, why bother with people disliking you if you're still you? So long as you don't purposely harm someone for a selfish reason, you had the right to be who you are.

His eyes drifted to the sky again, a flash of steel coming across his lazy blue orbs and making them appear callous and without mercy, not for the first time Tatsumaki frowned at the reveal of the beast that laid dormant behind Dead Last Ninja's cheerful personality.

She knew there was something off about the annoying man, even before he became her self-declared friend. She shuddered at the very thought to consider an idiot like him that word. His smile appeared too forced, his jokes intentionally bad, and his weak body hid something powerful, incredible even.

Only she knew that truth, and she kept it to herself, even as it annoyed her because she knew how strong he truly was. The ravenous steel fangs that he exposed in an unassuming grin, the ferocious iron claws he kept sheathed even when he wished to show them, the freezing feral shadow that lurked behind his eyes when he thought no one else but her was looking. She could feel how much rage he restrained when he heard insults towards that man made by people other than herself.

Not for the first time she wondered, who "that guy" truly was, to inspire such absolute loyalty and belief in their power. Dead Last Ninja believed entirely that when he showed up the world would change to reflect his power, and he spoke with true conviction and determination to follow that guy wherever he went.

But she'd have to wait and see. As much as it rankled her, she knew she would see who that guy truly was one day. And when he showed up, if he showed up she'd decide for herself if he was really worth Naruto's loyalty, someone as strong as the cheerful ninja truly was should show respect to his true betters. It went without saying that she considered herself only worthy of that.

X-x-X-X-x

"Stop, thief!"

The cry of an elderly woman whose purse had been snatched by a motorcycle riding thug reached the ears of a hero. The next thing the thief knew was that he had been clothes lined and thus flipped a good three times in the air.

Naruto whistled, "Guess that settles my quota." He grabbed the bag and handed it to the lady, "Thanks, now I won't get yelled at for doing nothing."

The woman scoffed, "How rude! At least that Mumen Rider fellow is not only strong, he's actually nice too! But heroes like you, so lazy… You shame his good name!"

The blond grinned with his eyes closed, letting her words sink in, "Wow, I pissed her off in two sentences. People used to get angry at me with two words back at home."

"I hope you didn't do that on purpose, then." The sound of a bike stopping and being parked carefully told the blond who it was.

"Hey, Mumen Rider. Want to grab a bit to eat?"

The man Naruto genuinely happily talked to was an average man with a green, round bike helmet, safety goggles, and light armor more fit for bikers than riders. He did pose the figure of a true hero with some slight muscle enough to stop normal pick-pocketing and even armed criminals, so long as said criminals weren't using insanely advanced technology like suits that granted herculean strength.

Behind the outfit, Mumen Rider was a normal guy in… everything, from looks to tastes and even actions. He had short brown hair and simple glasses behind his goggles, but he always had a genuine smile that not even the top ranked A-rank hero could match. The top C-rank hero had fans not because of his feats alone, but because he had the heart to earn that love.

The top ranked man smiled softly, "Sure."

Naruto grinned wider, eyes closed, "Good, and could you foot the bill? I'm flat broke at the moment. The association isn't going to give me my check unless I hand them the report of today's little heroics."

Mumen Rider sighed but kept his smile, "Alright, I guess I can at least do that for helping that old lady."

Naruto grinned, "Thanks, I owe the guy a good ten thousand yen."

"What?!" the armored hero nearly fell back.

The blond chuckled, "Just kidding, it's all on me. We can put it on my tab."

"R-right…" Mumen Rider was a little concerned since his best friend had an extremely odd sense of humor, and he made little jokes like that every now and then.

Walking together, Naruto seemed completely at ease before he remarked to the man in a casual way, "So you know, a really strong guy might be joining us soon…Just call it a hunch. When he does, I want you to be his friend like I am yours. Because that guy…well, you'll see why I think he's so great."

"That guy? You truly think he'll finally arrive and join the association?" Of course Mumen Rider knew of the mysterious individual that had originally inspired Dead Last Ninja to become a hero, unlike Tatsumaki he honestly trusted Naruto's word that he was a real person, and he often wondered who that guy truly was to inspire true determination and conviction in his blond best friend.

Dead Last Ninja stuck his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, his smile being a true and honest one, small as it was, replying with a soft chuckle, "'Course he will, he's the guy I admire most after all. And he wanted to be a hero, more than anyone or anything, so he became strong. But enough of that stuff, just fuggeddaboutit, 'cos it's dinner time man."

The two sat down at their favorite Udon place, Naruto looking outside with a hum as the sky darkened beyond them, he ordered a bowl and then one for Mumen Rider, the true hero taking off his helmet. Adjusting his glasses the two relaxed together as Naruto ordered a bottle of sake and poured them both glasses.

"This is the life I like, as much as being a hero is annoying…it's 'cos I can help people and hang with friends like you that makes this lifestyle worth it…Hard to believe I was so stupid and thick as a snot-nosed brat. Heh…I just didn't know what mattered in life, living day to day, paycheck after paycheck, workday after workday…it was so….stupid, and pointless. At least here, with you all, I can enjoy myself."

The spectacled hero chuckled, "You've told me this one before, it ends with you usually pulling a prank on me. What is it this-" he tried to reach for his cup and take a sip, but found it glued to the table, "…how come I still never see this coming?"

Patting the man's back as he covered his face with a hand, Naruto served him an actual cup free of pranks, "Because I'm too cool for school."

"That doesn't make sense." The rider said before digging into his meal.

"Doesn't have to make sense buddy, it just has to be cool enough for me. Hey…wanna catch a movie and lunch in a day or two? I feel like it's gonna be a good day tomorrow, but I'll be busy with Tatsu-chan until the next day." After they finished their udon together, Naruto got up and gave the true hero an easy going smile.

"Sure, but I pick this time." the rider said firmly as he put his helmet back on, Dead Last Ninja pouting slightly.

"Aw man, so mean. But sure, sure…" Naruto had a fondness for terrible movies, and Mumen had had some of the most bizarre dreams thanks to the lazy blond.

They parted ways after walking home, the blond haired man walking into a dark apartment building that was clearly abandoned for ages. He yawned in exhaustion, walking up the steps of the clearly decrepit place, with a mere clap of his hands, the porch light went on in front of his personal room.

He unlocked the door, announcing to no one in particular except for his collection of pet cactus, "I'm home from work everyone." Said dark room was pitch black until he turned on the lights. It showed a variety of books and movies scattered across the floor and couch. Said couch had clearly seen better days, and was obviously a hand-me-down from Tatsumaki, owing to the fact that it displayed a certain extravagance to it that was far and beyond his pay grade.

Over one wall was a huge collection of newspaper clippings of spectacular hero fights against monsters and threats thought of as Disaster Level Dragon and beyond. Each name and picture of the hero who supposedly saved the day was erased or ripped out, and replaced by a simple crude drawing of a bald headed man in a yellow outfit, red cape and gloves, and ordinary features. He walked past the wall, to water his cactus's, and grab an extra midnight snack of instant ramen.

He paid attention to a small wooden dresser, which had a great deal of photographs of himself and Tatsumaki, several even had a nervous and timid looking Fubuki posing in them. The one that made him grin the largest was the first time he actually had been able to kiss Tatsumaki. On the cheek, but she had let him get that intimate with her. Her face was burning bright red and her eyes were glowing green, but she had let him go with just a broken arm. And a leg. He recovered quickly though. Once he was done with his reverie, he popped in his noodles and picked up paper, a pen, and the newspaper of that day.

He hummed quietly as he waited for the three minutes to pass, working on a new section to the wall. A Paradise group had recently been demolished thanks to the work of an unknown hero. He chortled as he added in a new drawing of that bald man, shaking his head at the ignorance of those around him. His microwave dinged, and he quickly ran over to get his second dinner. One delicious bowl of instant noodles later, Naruto was yawning and tossing off his clothes save for his underwear.

"We'll finally meet again…Saitama-san." Dead Last Ninja yawned before he brushed his teeth, and then flopped down on a small mattress with a lamp next to it. Reading a book on bad puns and jokes through the wee hours of the night, he went to sleep after he finished his current chapter.

Turning the lamp off and going to bed, he woke up exactly at the crack of dawn, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling blankly, a clear case of the morning stares overcoming him, "Another day of reports, and breakfast with Tatsu-chan is done too…I guess I'll make another bet with her, see if I can win another week from her or if I have to pay for a whole year again."

Getting up, he showered, washed his clothes out, and then jogged from his apartment, heading towards where he knew Tatsumaki would be waiting for him. Many people in A-city gave him a harsh glare, to which he blithely ignored them. He didn't mind their hatred at all, in fact it amused him and he joked with Tatsumaki that they didn't have anything better to do with their time but scorn him.

Namely, her mansion, as the Rank 2 S-class hero she possessed multiple living accommodations in virtually every city which she lived in when she was on call there. He was so well known by his association with her, the guards took only a few moments to let him past the gate before he jogged to the front door.

"Hello Sebby." He dodged a point blank shotgun blast from a sharp-looking grey haired old man, the butler of Tatsumaki's mansion shouldering Eliza, the gigantic triple barreled shotgun he once wielded to hunt monsters in his youth.

Polishing a single monocle against a breast handkerchief, Tatsumaki's butler ushered him silently, and merely pointed towards the drawing room setting where he could await Tatsumaki to wake up and get dressed for the day. However, that was boring, and he didn't do boring unless it was for himself. So he sneaked past Sebastian, no small feat considering the man was a game hunter of some renown and had crept up on the most dangerous possible monsters and bagged them in his glory days, and crept into Tatsumaki's bedroom as stealthy as a true ninja could be.

Atop a massive four post bed covered in lush green silken sheets and a cover that had pure white swan feathers giving it downy warmth was Tatsumaki herself. Clad in a cute nightgown that was somewhat see through, showing she slept in the buff outside of it, her snores were adorable little 'fuwee' noises of air that she breathed out from her nose while hugging a pillow between her arms.

He eyed her living accommodations with an interested stare, letting out a silent whistle when he saw just how much stuff she had accumulated. Gifts and payments from grateful fans, a collection of rare and expensive wine, but the thing that made him grin the most was rather simple.

A small picture frame of him, a black-haired woman looking nervously at the camera, and herself in a cat ear hood glaring daggers forward. He had his arm on her head, and it was kept in a small place all to itself. Namely atop a solid carved jade dresser, similar pictures of himself and her in various points were arranged. Most were turned down or put facing the wall, so he helpfully readjusted them.

Three years of memories between them, and he wouldn't trade that life with her for anything.

"Love you too Tatsu-chan." He said fondly, touching the first photo frame and admiring how he had cleaned up well for it.

Another 'fuwee' went up, and he tilted his head back to stare at her snoring frame. Her eyes scrunched up tight when light threatened to burst out and into their eyes from the window, a subconscious use of her powers made the blinds seal shut once they glowed green, sealing them back into perfect darkness. He side-stepped over the many stuffed animals thrown about over the floor, and walked over to the bed once he was close enough to it.

Her eyes were twitching rapidly in their sleep, whatever she was dreaming about had her attention.

If Naruto had the power to peer into dreams, which he assuredly did not, he'd be able to see what she dreamed of was shockingly mundane.

It was simply put the most boring thing possible. A dream of her and him watching television together.

Whatever was playing was the dullest movie she could've thought up. Paint drying while molasses ran. What mattered more to her was the fact that she was eating popcorn with him, he was talking idly about whatever asinine thing he could think up, and that dream was the most peaceful she had ever been.

Her face was set in its usual frown, but every few seconds it'd unconsciously twist into a smile, her eyes softening then hardening again when her face reset back to its frown.

"Myunnn…myuunu….sssupid….dumbbb…naru…gh…my, popccon..fuwee…" He wasn't able to hear what she was saying fully, but it made his face split into a huge grin.

"Heh, she's so cute when she's like this, aw well...wakeywakey, eggs and bakey Tatsu-chan~!" He slowly reached out and poked her cheek several times, whispering as he did so. Each time she mumbled more and more until she started to awaken. Before she fully did, he disappeared in a flash of movement, reappearing downstairs with not a single sound uttered by his feet or body while he sat down on a couch. He was already waiting for her to get ready for their day together.

Her green eyes snapped open fully as the small woman felt her psychic powers locate the source of her irritation in her drawing room. He hadn't moved from that spot or so she thought, and with a loud yet adorable girlish yawn she tossed off her night gown and levitated herself to her massive bubble bath which was always kept at a warm temperature of one hundred and twelve. Falling into the warm sudsy water without so much as a splash shooting up, a collection of sponges, small wash cloths, rich scented soap and shampoo, and conditioner floated around her with green energy controlling their movements.

Washing herself was a task easily done, and with her vast telekinetic powers, she could read a small book in front of her face even as she washed her body and hair out. She grimaced as it was one Naruto recommended. She didn't even like the book, she just read it because it'd shut the idiot up. A story about a stocky skeleton who annoyed a much taller one with a barrage of bad puns, mocking jokes, and a comedy routine that she could swear Naruto was inspired by. She sneered at the obvious joke he was making at her expense.

She had no idea why she liked the scented soap either nowadays, she hadn't used it often before Naruto had remarked once that he liked the smell she had when she did use it, and from then on for some reason just to make him stop complaining when she didn't use it, she washed herself with that soap. She didn't mind the smell herself, it was quite enjoyable. A soft and gentle smell of coconuts wafted through the air as she finished her daily bathing herself clean, she rose up out of the sudsy water, and with a flick of her wrist, a barrage of water droplets struck the wall neatly, leaving her entire body dry in an instant as well as her hair which went into its usual flowing style.

She lifted herself up in the air slightly, her arms held up in the air before her dress came on over her body, the flaps in front hiding the fact that Tatsumaki went commando. Her face gave only a slight grimace at the thought that she was flat to the point where she didn't need a bra. She looked behind, her eye twitching as the only sign of where her true age or her womanly growth showed was in her extremely curvy and sizable behind. She stared around her room, making sure nothing was out if place and had been left the way it was when she went to sleep last night.

Everything was in order, except for the photographs. She let her lips sneer at them, but she didn't reset the photos.

"I must've put them back up again when I was sleeping…stupid." She scoffed, with a wave of her hand they fell back into the positions they were in before Naruto had woken her up. All except for one. A single picture that she switched per day.

Her eyes took in the image of the one photo she'd allow herself to witness that day. She considered it a way to remember how much Naruto infuriated her. She didn't dare let herself smile at that memory.

He was wearing nice clothes for once, a tuxedo and bow-tie, while she sat opposite to him in a gorgeous purple dress with arm gloves and a feathered hat upon her head. The annual celebration dinner held in honor for the S-class heroes. Naruto was allowed in only because of the extra rule. Any S-class hero could bring in any number of Extra's they wanted to, he was her one and only extra. For a single night he got to enjoy the best food in the world, at the expense of the Hero Association.

He didn't dare embarrass her on those days, and for three years he had worn an incredibly nice suit that he claimed he bought himself. She stared at that photo, nodding in satisfaction at how he looked in the white tuxedo with the orange tie and white silken gloves. He was a fitting extra during those celebration dinners.

She put the memories out of mind, since she could sense Naruto was swinging his legs aimlessly waiting for her to grace his miserable rat bastard existence with her presence.

"Better go greet that idiot and see what he wants." Remarking dryly to herself, the door swung open while she walked down the steps to the foyer. She used telekinesis for everything, but she did need to use her body once in a while too.

"Yo Tatsu-chan! Wanna make another bet? This time for another week vs. a whole year, our usual." And there he was, the biggest pain in her lovely backside, waving at her from her couch.

"Then what's the bet, you slacker garbage?" She hated how easily he got her to bet against him, something about winning one over him just got her going and made it Impossible for her to stop from betting time and time again.

However, she usually lost and she hated that even more.

He grinned, "You have to kiss me for a full five minutes while pretending you like it."

Normally, such words would earn the one uttering them to have their head removed and thrown at hungry monsters. But this being him, and considering she hated giving him the upper hand above anything, she settled for glaring and throw her sofa at him by using only her mind.

The blond yelped and leaned his head and entire body to the side, skipping the trouble of buying two coffins, one for his body and the other for his head. He gave the tiny woman a small and lazy but still apologetic grin while his limbs remained lazily hanging off the piece of furniture that hadn't been thrown at his skull.

"Skip the jokes imbecile or I really will kill you." She said coldly with her green eyes resting on his person, and the entire living room getting a nice shade of glowing green to it.

He kept grinning and leaned back, "If you can, and this is a big if…" he was baiting her, "If you can be nice to everyone around you for an entire day… You get to ask what you want from me for an entire year, I could even be your stool, it'd be nice."

Her gaze grew colder at his humor, "And what if I lose?" But her lips quirked into a sadistic grin at the thought of making him her slave. He had her hooked and that gave him leeway to continue.

Naruto chuckled, "Well, it seems too easy for me to win this, so-" the house rumbled because of her ire, reminding him to keep his snickers unheard, "Well, it seems you're eager. If you're that confident, why not date me for a whole week if you lose? You'd pay for the meals, that is. That is every time we go out to eat."

"Unacceptable! I refuse. I will not be your companion for such a meager thing." Her instant reply made the lazy man grin with his legs in the air.

He flipped back up and replied quickly, "I'll also pay for a year's worth of breakfast, same as last time I lost."

That got her to calm down, before she pointed at him, her face growing simplistic again as she outright demanded, "You will also buy me dinner and lunch as well! Not to mention spend an hour every day proclaiming how fortunate and unworthy you are for having me associate with filth like you!"

He reached out and patted her head in response making her swat at him furiously. The tiny ESPer actually jumped onto him and clawed at his face childishly. Naruto could only laugh at her, making her pound his chest even harder.

"It's a bet then!" He laughed out, the two of them shaking hands after she calmed down. Tatsumaki's furious glare burnt an emerald green until she calmed down. Somehow she had ended up sitting on Naruto's lap, the man looking lazily down at the woman as her harrumphed stubbornly.

"You're going to pay for every single meal you jerk. I can be nice for an entire day, it's easy for one as amazing as this Tatsumaki." She said with a raised nose, looking like an arrogant little princess.

"I bet it is, and you can start now." He said and teasingly tapped her raised nose with a finger, going on with a huge grin, "A boop to the lil Tatsu-chan snoot~! Boop~!" he booped her again.

She shook with rage after the boop to her snoot, but managed to not crush him. Instead, everything in her house levitated from her wrath.

"You are the worst, the worst of the worst, the filthiest of dogs and parasites you dead last bastard. A degenerate, a scoundrel, a coward, and most horribly of all a disrespectful jerk!" She ranted out as her face became simple again, the house shaking relentlessly until he let her rage run its course.

As all things went and all things ebbed, even her anger faded and she calmed down again. Still on his lap she muttered childish threats while he gave her warm wondrous head-pats. Even she was not immune to that most glorious of pleasure. A powerful weapon in the hands of any skilled older brother figure and the absolute weakness of all girls who looked younger than they really were, a head-pat was an S-rank level tool to calm down those said big brothers cherished. Very few heroes really understood just how close the two were, and what he did for her internally even if she didn't admit it.

Fubuki would tell anyone who knew her deeply and personally that she thought Naruto humanized her terrifying older sister. He gave her meaning and joy, as well as brought her a sense of routine and a link to the mundane humanity she so looked down upon.

"Mquu…Ah~!" She gasped happily when he rubbed a particularly nice spot, a blush coming across her face as she nestled her head against one warm hand.

Naruto looked outside again while still giving the S-class Rank 2 hero head-pats. With one hand busy rubbing the side of her head, Tatsumaki allowed for her eyes to close tightly while her back was nestled against his chest. She allowed him the honor of wrapping one arm around her stomach, holding her in place while his hand continued moving in a slow circle around her head.

The sun was shining, birds were singing, the grass was green, it was a good day to be alive… even with such happiness, his eyes shone like red hot steel then went back to normal fast enough that only Tatsumaki caught him revealing his true self.

"Is it finally time then? Are you finally going to discard your weakness Naruto?" She asked him with a serious expression, he turned his head back to her, his blue eyes now a glowing red with no visible pupils. His hand gently lifted from her head along with its twin from her stomach, making both of them privately lament the loss of contact.

"Yeah. That guy is finally joining the hero association today, the strongest is finally becoming a part of our organization. Come with me, I want you to meet the man who brought an end to the clouds that blocked my sun."

He got up, Tatsumaki rising up with him and floating next to the lazy man as his posture slouched again, his eyes going back to his blue ones typical of a slacker while he flipped his hoodie up. He tightened the drawstrings, hiding his face from view for the most part. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he opened the door for her as was the wont of a true gentlemen.

She merely nodded at him, her eyes harsh and cold. With a gesture a massive rain coat covered her dress and body up, a hood flipping up and covering her face until only her green eyes shone from the shadowed interior. Storm clouds begun gathering outside without warning, both had known of this occasion before it had happened, their preparation hadn't been for show with the rain threatening to burst out into an endless deluge any second now.

"I want to see this scum regardless. Going with you and winning our bet are just bonuses." She said snidely, but even she couldn't hide the interest she had at meeting the man who was all but Naruto's idol.'_At long last, I can judge if this filth is what that idiot says he is…or just another worthless bastard like all the rest of the trash.'_

To say that she considered humans to be below her was an understatement, the first thing she ever did to the scientists who made her what she was when she finally matured was to annihilate them.

There wasn't even a lab anymore or a complex either, what remained of it and the scientists who once made her existence Hell was an endlessly spiraling ruin floating through space. Its sole inhabitants were a bunch of skeletons who had died clutching their throats in a vain attempt to get air that didn't exist anymore.

Her link to the average human was bare bones at best, she had been saved by the strongest hero Blast and had deeply admired him for that, other humans she could give less of a toss about. But it was Naruto who provided a pivotal link to humanity, one that she hadn't realized had become her only real link. Before long he had become the only human being she allowed direct contact with her in intimate and personal relationships.

Her expression was one of souring yet actual contemplation, as she realized how much she had needed his company to stave off an emotion she thought alien to her. Loneliness. She hated that feeling. She hated it to the death of her. She only had to ask. Just why was it that this stupid blond idiot made her feel that emotion die off. Why did he have to be the one to make her feel… so happy to be a part of humanity again?

"_Ruling dies out_…" he briefly sang, cutting into her deep thoughts, she blinked suddenly at his song making her turn at him curiously, "From a song I like… I like some of the lyrics… _I violate my oath to defend_…" he liked the song, it was quite catchy.

"I heard it." she admitted.

"What's the verdict?" he asked casually.

"It's enjoyable, but not really my cup of tea. I'll admit, it's better than most trashy pop songs since it at least has effort put into it." she said like your typical bitter critic. "Why do you ask?" she asked like your typical bored child wanting to get something done.

"Well, I wanted to hear something nice from you since we started our bet. Oh, you can start being nice, or I will win too easily." He said with a smirk.

The girl cringed, her face also twisting with anger, but she managed a very, very, very forced smile that needed some of her psychic powers to curl her lips, "It's an enjoyable song, I'll admit… Naruto."

His smile made her feel a little better as he told her warmly, "That's the ticket Tatsu-chan! C'mon, let's go meet that guy."

They got into a limousine, Naruto automatically pulling out a bottle of apple juice and drinking it as the rain began pouring over them in buckets while she had one fist against her cheek, her gaze turned to the rainy setting outside without a care. Her limo would only take them towards the entrance of the Hero Association HQ, from there they'd have to walk into the building to get inside but with the way the rain kept on pounding, they'd be lucky not to be drenched by the time they got inside.

All the while, Naruto hummed his song while Tatsumaki had to deal with it. After arrival at the building, they got out of the limo, rain pouring in buckets over their heads to a degree that even through their clothes they were getting soaked.

The green haired ESPer didn't mind the rain and merely constructed a psychic umbrella over her head when it got too overbearing, her attention was caught by how Naruto's body moved in imperceptibly fast motions, so fast he appeared to not even be moving. Her eyes and mind caught what no one else did, her blond friend was actually dodging the rain drops, with speed that broke into the superhuman levels.

Once more, she had to wonder what he had done and where he had gone in his past. He had only ever told her that he used to be a member of a ninja village, and that he had been their best. So strong, that no other could ever compare to him. His name back then had been Naruto Namikaze.

And his official title had been: Storm of Red Steel, Bloodstained Torrent Naruto. He had claimed, in his wild and stupid youth, he had been all but a machine. A perfect killing tool that did everything for the sake of his village. Entire monster nests slaughtered. Martial artists removed. Leaders of rival villages exterminated along with their families. He had been a monster wearing the flesh of a man. Until he met That Man.

That Man. The one who he claimed had made him see the light of his stupid youth. So many things she wanted to ask him, and it was only now that she'd get to ask half of them.

It wasn't long before they walked into her sister, Fubuki in the Heroes HQ.

Naruto greeted the yakuza like woman first, yanking down his hood and flashing her a tired smile while Tatsumaki pulled down her hood to observe Naruto's interaction with her baby sister more closely.

"Hey Fubu-chan. You still afraid to raise up in the ranks?" His words were innocently poised, but they made the assortment of suits behind the woman bristle, a single look from the busty beauty settled them down as she gave Naruto a polite but wary smile.

"I see my sister still hasn't found the good sense to banish you from her presence…I am grateful however to you for keeping her entertained and away from scaring my comrades." Fubuki and Naruto had an unspoken agreement towards each other. He would keep Tatsumaki placated and away from her, and she'd never speak a word of how close they were to anyone else.

Not that he did his part to uphold the agreement; since he intentionally had the two meet up on multiple occasions, primarily to make the two sisters bond properly. Thus far he had managed to ease Fubuki's unrelenting terror of her sister and actually get Tatsumaki to calm down on her young sister's life style a little. He was working towards making her less violently aggressive towards everything that happened in her sister's life that she didn't like… Progress was going slow, but he was getting there, he thought.

"Fubu-chan, when are ya ever going to stop being so scared of this little darling? Look at her! She's got all the power in the world but is like an adorable angry cat! I love her!" Naruto actually picked up the much smaller woman in his arms, holding her underneath her armpits like she was a feline.

The green haired girl didn't seem to be as angry as she might've been in this sort of situation. It might've been due to her face melting red blush and frizzling hair at how he actually kissed her cheek and held her tightly when he said he loved her. Or it could be because she didn't want him to win the bet. She would make him pay for the humiliation, or her name wasn't Tornado of Terror Tatsumaki. She did feel tempted to let him win if it meant turning him into an abstract art painting smeared on the wall, but it'd give him the satisfaction of dying with the knowledge he bested her.

Fubuki's gaze turned even more fearful as her big sister seemed to process everything correctly, her eyes and body glowing green until Naruto set her down then administered lovely head-pats.

Exhaling sharply, a forced grin came across Tatsumaki's face as she declared with a rapidly twitching eye, "Naruto is…right. I am not… at all terrifying. Or…scary." She hated how the damned patting made her feel at ease, though part of her mind wondered how many ways she could make the blond suffer after skinning him alive and recording his screams to turn them into a lullaby, it'd help her sleep at night knowing he was in agony.

Fubuki had the good grace to thank the stars that her elder sister and Naruto were so close, if they weren't or if Tatsumaki had never met him…she shuddered to think how terrifying the green haired woman would be without someone who made her actually look forward to the next day.

Naruto made a mental note to not mention the bet to her or the time limit, he was already pushing his luck treating Tatsumaki like a pet. Though in some really perverted fantasies, most men wouldn't mind the tiny woman to be wearing cat ears.

"On topic as to why we're here Fubu-chan…The hero try-outs are today, we're here to see to a very special newcomer." Rubbing the back of his head with an easygoing smile, Fubuki merely crossed her arms underneath her sizable bust and rose an eyebrow.

"Do you mean that cyborg boy? He's gotten quite a reputation even before coming here, I was considering asking him to become a member of my group. Sadly, he's a sure candidate for S-class right at the onset." She asked until Naruto merely looked at her with a confused stare, a question mark popping over his head while Tatsumaki's face became simplistic. Several question marks of her own popping above her head. With his odd fox like eyes closed, and her simplistic expression, the look both had was nothing short of comical confusion.

They weren't serious…were they? Her and her group looked shocked by the honest confusion both showed. If they weren't here for the cyborg, then who were they for? The idea that it'd prompt the interest of the S-class number 2 and the Rank 100 C-class heroes was baffling. Who or what would make the two least likely people to be seen together actually venture forth to investigate personally?

"We don't…we're not here for any normal new addition, regardless of their rank." Tatsumaki said slowly, still forcing herself to be nice. Naruto's confused look only grew as the two heroes looked at each other. They looked utterly confused by whoever she was referring to her, after a few seconds of confusion the two of them seemed to have a silent conversation with just their eyes. Naruto nodded while Tatsumaki rose a hand in the air and waved it out, her eyes closed in frustration. They turned back to Fubuki and her group when they were done.

Fubuki was curious now, "I see…Then who's caught your interest? There's no one worth remembering among the chaff that surrounds the try-outs this year besides that cyborg… All of them are a bunch of worthless cretins to begin with."

Naruto merely walked forward with a lazy grin aimed at the group behind him who were offended that he was openly ignoring Fubuki's question. He hadn't answered at all, and she'd be offended herself if her older sister didn't give her an annoyed look herself before she joined the man's side.

As the Tornado of Terror walked next to the blond, for a brief moment the Blizzard of Hell shuddered. She had seen a red furred…something behind the blond for a brief second. It had happened so fast she barely even registered the fear she felt at its sight.

But what she did see was a monster barely restraining its urge to kill. She had seen Dragon Level threats, and the abomination that had been enraged by her comment was far scarier than any of them.

"Wh-What is he…?" She had never registered Naruto as anything more than a lazy good-for-nothing like virtually all the other heroes, but what she saw in that brief second terrified her. To think there was another monster like her sister prowling around… What a terrifying thought. What a horrifying, awful, terrible thought.

Someone like Naruto was an impossibility. Something that she thought mythical. A man whose strength surpassed monsterkind, humankind, and even ESPerkind like the two of them. A man who hadn't just ripped open his limiter, he had furiously shattered it without hesitation. All to pursue another, to be worthy of being considered a friend to that person, he had done everything he could to pursue what some called the ideal of strength. His was a monstrous existence, one that was kept entirely in check by his devotion to what he loved the most.

In all the world, Naruto had loyalties only to those he considered most important to him. It was safe to say that he was a hero because of those loyalties. If anything ever happened to those he treasured, there would be nothing on Earth capable of stopping his rage. And he was in effect Tatsumaki's chosen companion. Fubuki heaved a great sigh of despair and concern, being utterly terrified of whatever would happen with the two of them.

X-x-X-X-x

From the sidelines, Naruto and Tatsumaki watched big, muscular men try their best at the physical part of the test. Naruto leaned on a wall with a calm smile while Tatsumaki watched everyone with a dull look on her face. She was about to call Naruto on how dumb he was as best as she could with the limit to her cynicism, but then saw the blond smirk, an actual smirk of interest.

"There he is." He said, hands in his pockets as a bald man in a speedo walked in.

"Him…? What about him?" She could only question her friend's sanity until she saw his expression.

It was pure and simple, admiration at its most sincere. He truly looked like someone who had seen his most beloved hero in the flesh, his intent smile made her quiet down and observe what was happening more gently skimmed the man's mind, finding nothing out of the ordinary, if anything he was bored out of his mind and wondering what he'd do for lunch that day.

'_Sandwich or rice and sushi…I've seen a pretty neat deli open lately, I think Genos might like trying them, heard their mayo and rye is to die for…hm…' _

Withdrawing from the cretins mind with a scowl on her face, Tatsumaki was about ready to lambaste Naruto until she saw his smile widen immensely, a true and massive grin on his face.

Snapping her head back when she felt the air pressure change, her green eyes widened when the man blasted forward faster than any hero had a right to be, not even Flashy Flash was that fast. He actually lapped the runner's right at the mark multiple times, flames bursting underneath his feet as he was barely putting in the effort to run.

Then came the weight lifting, where he lifted weights thousands of times stronger than anything she had ever see Superalloy Darkshine lift. Each time she thought she had seen everything, the man down there blew her away even further. Naruto on the other hand was vibrating to the point that his entire body was making the air hum, he was just barely holding back until he knew where that guy would stand.

"See Tatsu-chan? He's everything I told you about, everything I truly aspire to be…He's just a hero hobbyist and he grasps what it means to be a hero better than anyone else besides me or Mumen Rider does…That's the guy who killed Storm of Red Steel Namikaze." Naruto whispered the last part to himself, Tatsumaki not even registering it as she could hardly believe how powerful the man below them truly was.

The second the physical part of the exams were over, Naruto disappeared without a word, she spent an hour looking for him until she finally saw him talking with the bald-headed man and that cyborg boy her sister mentioned. Overlooking the conversation from a balcony, her arms were crossed and the proctors for the exams wisely stayed out of her way as she silently watched.

The man seemed a little taken aback by the blond man's earnestness, given his lackadaisical response of, "Uh…do I know you? I don't mind having a fan already but I haven't done anything worth mentioning."

"Of course you wouldn't remember me Saitama-san. I was just an assassin back then, but you beat me to the point where I felt ready to give up. And then you told me something that has stuck with me ever since, 'STOP CRYING ABOUT YOUR SITUATION ALREADY! If you want to be a decent person, then just do it already!'" he sighed after that, he even imitated the bald man's voice perfectly,"I took that advice to heart…and became a hero."

The man looked confused until something in his brain snapped and he gasped in surprise, "You were that crazy nin-" Naruto's look of reluctant shame made him stop talking, and rub the back of his head instead."Oh…You're not _that_ person anymore…Right, well. I'm glad to hear you made something of yourself I suppose. Anyways I-"

"Saitama-san, I want to make a personal request of you." Naruto's earnest smile made the bald man look concerned, Genos narrowing his eyes but observing this with some interest as he hadn't expected to meet someone who admired Saitama just as much as he did."I want to be your friend, and hang out with you…ahaha, sorry…I know that's weird to-"

"Sure." Saitama just scratched the back of his head, looking alright with the situation, Naruto laughed with a wide smile as he held out a single hand to the man.

"I'll formally introduce myself. C-rank 100, Dead Last Ninja… But you can just call me Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto's smile made the man give a small one of his own, the two finding common ground as he shook the blond ninja's hand.

"Saitama, rank…zip right now, they'll tell us our results soon enough. Hey, wanna get some lunch with me after this? You seem like a chill guy, plus you and Genos seem to get along well…oh." Saitama realized what he said too late as the two blonds energetically begun discussing the merits to his strength right in front of him.

Floating down in front of Saitama from where she had observed this meeting, her arms crossed and a visible aura of green power covering her entire form, the caped baldy looked mildly concerned with Tatsumaki's critical gaze, the ESPer's always harsh expression turning even harsher as she examined him.

"Naruto's talked about nothing but you for the past three years, Saitama. So I hope you prove to be worthy of his respect." Still obligated to be nice, Tatsumaki couldn't say what she really wanted to, so she just went back to her blond friend and impatiently waited for him and the cyborg he was with to stop talking.

Her foot's incessant tapping must've made it clear to the idiot that he was to pay her attention now. Like a well-trained seal, the mental image making her lip curl in mirth, he obediently ended his conversation with Geno to focus on her now. Good, he knew her pet peeve and obeyed her unspoken demand for attention.

"Anyways Tatsu-chan, we're gonna get some lunch together after the exams end, wanna try out a sandwich or two?" Naruto turned to the S-class hero and grinned widely, her cheeks puffing up briefly before she nodded as she wouldn't mind a free lunch.

"Fine, I have nothing better to do with my time anyway."

"Awesome! Tatsu-chan is my bestest best friend and maybe just maybe a little something closer Saitama-san, she's quite a handful and you're lucky this is one of her good days, otherwise she'd be pretty saucy, and let me tell you to most people she's an acquired taste for sure. Oh before she gets angry, she's also S Rank 2, Tornado of Terror Tatsumaki. As a warning, don't ignore her or she'll get really huffy."

"Issat so?" Saitama's curious gaze made Tatsumaki humph to herself, as a reward for her good behavior thus far Naruto pet her head in a manner that made her lean into his palm, the two sharing an obvious closeness that made Saitama tilt his head.

Genos on the other hand seemed pleased to have a fellow admirer of his sensei, and if anything he and Naruto seemed to hit it off better than Saitama expected. He was worried when the blond ninja begun gushing in front of him that his "student" would get jealous.

"I'm amazed to see that sensei had already gained a follower even before I met him, truly a hero like him attracts all sorts of people. More importantly, I take it you were someone he defeated?" Genos was always serious but the smile, however small on his face, indicated that he was genuinely happy to meet someone who admired the man next to them.

"Ahah…Saitama-san yeah…He beat me when I was in a really bad place in my life, back when I was a stupid kid, he taught me to take responsibility for my actions, and as a result I never forgot his words. Which reminds me…Tatsu-chan, I guess I'm done affording not to care. I'm climbing the ranks now."

Naruto's smile turned deathly serious before he straightened his posture and took his hands out of his hoodie pockets. In an instant his entire aura had changed, both his blue eyes turned a burning red while his limp blond hair became much spikier.

The change he went just by revealing his true nature made Tatsumaki's normally frowning face gain a slight smile, while her cheeks actually blushed briefly at how handsome he became just by getting serious. Or was that blush a trick of the light?

"Finally…You're going to become someone worthy of the power you hold and the company you share. I've waited far too long for this day to come…That guy really is something special to you, huh?" Tatsumaki instantly went back to her normal expression as she poked Naruto's chest cutely, her frown being turned upon Saitama next.

She ignored him in favor of Naruto who grinned again, this time his smile had a feral tint to it, showing that he was in complete agreement with her.

The bald headed man merely looked confused until Naruto smiled at him, "It's nothing Saitama-san…just something between me and her. I also want to be someone who can show the world that you're better than anyone else…If it takes me being in the top ranks to get you the attention you deserve, then so be it. Genos-kun. You do the same! Climb the ranks with me, and we'll make sure the world realizes how lucky it is to have Saitama-san protecting it!"

Holding out his hand, Genos didn't hesitate to shake his fellow blond's hand, the two nodding at each other seriously, "Of course Uzumaki-san. We'll make the world realize his greatness at any cost!"

"Good… now then, I'm sure this look will scare some people…" he said, and his features returned to those of his lazy self, his smile getting perhaps lazier than before as he rubbed the back of his head.

Tatsumaki stared blankly, "What…?"

"I'm not going to keep that look all day long, Tatsu-chan… And I do like taking things easy." The blond said.

She gaped at him for a few seconds before exhaling sharply, her hands rubbing her temples gently as she forced down her temper to the best of her ability.

"Right… Why would you get serious when you're not on the job?" she was trying so hard to be nice it was adorable, he just grinned widely at her, making her huff and swat at his hand when he reached for her head to pet it.

"Aw, don't be so mean Tatsu-chan!" he chortled, petting her head once more and making her get closer to his body. She privately damned him for that infernal power of the head-pat!

"Tch. I'm not being mean, I'm merely stating the obvious. Who cares how others perceive you if you truly value only those closest to you." She groused, making him just shake his head at her cheerfully.

"It's because those I treasure the most are the ones I want to protect the most. You're the most important to me, just in a different way to Saitama-san. A closer way even. Heh, isn't that just the most cliché confession ever though? Ahaha…" He said with his characteristic lack of care for what he said or the way he said them, he said what he truly felt.

It was for that sincerity to him, that she never let anyone say bad things about him in her immediate presence. Only she had the right to insult and belittle him, because only she was his superior.

The way she was blushing though after he told her he treasured the most, told another story to Saitama and Genos. Genos was already writing down information in his journal while Saitama was shrugging at the two. They were clearly totally and utterly in love, one was just too much of an egomaniac to admit that they cherished the other.

Whatever, it was beyond him anyway he guessed. They could go and make out somewhere else so far as he was concerned. All that concerned him at the moment, was lunch.

X-x-X-X-x

"Didn't I tell you this place had great sandwiches Naruto?" and there they were, the most unlikely quartet ever assembled in the history of the world or the system of heroes. A cyborg, an ex-assassin, a hero hobbyist, and the world's strongest psychic walked into a sandwich shop to have lunch.

One could say the punchline needed no words, because it was its own punchline. Naruto'd smack the living hell out of anyone who insulted either Saitama or Tatsumaki to his face though. He was already biting into an absolutely delicious soho that was a pastrami on rye bread with everything on it, although he flat out admitted he wanted it on wheat, a particularity to how he liked his sandwiches. Tatsumaki had no idea why he was so extremely picky about a sandwich, all she cared about was that it tasted good and was to her liking.

Hence why her sandwich, -which she was biting into without a care for who saw the S-class hero having a meal like an ordinary peon- was an ordinary ham, swiss-cheese, mustard, and tomato one on sourdough. She bit into it, grumbling adorably with every bite.

"Yeah, they're great Saitama-san! Better than great, probably the best sandwiches I've had in A-city in a long time." He admitted, making Saitama look surprised, "You live around here? I thought only the rich and elites got to live in this city."

Scratching the side of his cheek, Naruto flat out admitted with a wry grin," Pretty much yeah, I live in A-city… But, see, Tatsu-chan's the best of the best, she got me a rundown tenant that I don't have to pay the rent for, but I do have to micromanage the entire building." He pointed with a cheesy puff chip he had in his hands at Tatsumaki, who swallowed her mouthful of sandwich slowly. A napkin levitated up to her face and wiped her mouth as she gave Saitama an extremely harsh stare, moments before she bit into another mouthful of sandwich. The effect of her glare ruined by her cheeks bulged to stuffing with her meal.

"Wow. Must be nice having friends in high places." Saitama said with a shrug, Naruto rubbing the back of his head with an easy going grin, "Well I do have to pay for everything from my water and electrical bills, to my shopping. As much as I love Tatsu-chan and she loves me right back, she's not about to let me basically mooch off of her personal stash of food or goodies."

The way he openly discussed his feelings for Tatsumaki, regardless of her huge bright red blush, her angry green glare, or her clenching fists made Saitama give a soft whistle. Whispering to himself in amusement," Naruto does not give a crap about how others view him, huh?" Genos was taking notes again, much to his consternation.

It was clear to the two just by the fact that Naruto sat right next to Tatsumaki, and how he reached out and grabbed her stuff she wanted when she gave him a sharp glare that the two had a very close and powerful connection. It was somewhat like the way an old married couple could know what the other was thinking and do what they needed automatically, or perhaps even more akin to that of a subordinate and their superior. Saitama idly thought about the fact that there was so much sexual tension between the two it was getting a bit sizzling. He couldn't hold that thought in any longer and so it burst out.

"Seriously, you two just going to go out and have fun at an adult hotel or what? I'm just checking because I can feel the tension between you both." Saitama was never one to mince words and he asked that so bluntly, it took a second for Tatsumaki's eyes to bulge out, her face to turn an even brighter red, the table to shake and glow green, and Naruto to burst out laughing like a hyena.

His own face had a huge blush over it too though, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAH! HAHAH! O-O-O-ONLY I-I-F SH-SHE LETS ME HEHEHAHAHA!" he was pounding his knee, tears of mirth rolling down his face in a constant stream.

Tatsumaki made a humorous noise halfway between a strangled cat to a furious and adorably cute frog, her head slowly twisting to face his as without warning he stopped laughing and got serious.

"Frankly speaking. Only when and if she is willing to let me touch her like that. Tatsu-chan is the woman I care for the most and want to keep happy no matter what. If she'll let some piece of shit dead last hero like me touch her, I'll consider myself honored for her giving me the time of day." He said, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Don't say things that'll give everyone the WRONG idea!" shouted the chibi psychic.

"Well, I've had my fair chances of giving people wrong ideas." He booped her nose, adoring how she grit her teeth, "Many times were foolish mistakes, but I'm trying to not be that guy again."

As he kept eating, Naruto let out a laugh as memories came back to him...

Memories he'd rather not remember.

X-x-X-X-x

_A river's water flowed into a waterfall where two figures faced each other. One was clad in black armor, a samurai whose face was covered by a pitch-black tengu mask. On his hand was a simple sword without a guard and a straight blade. And on his back was a large Japanese fan._

_On the other side of the water was a much younger, far more feral Naruto. Being skinny as he was, he did stand out due to his muscular build on his slim form. Adding to that a pair of black slacks with bandages on each shin, a red fur pelt wrapped around his waist, and no shirt, he looked more like a Norse warrior of old than a ninja. However, the large amount of scars on his body and shattered armor indicated he hadn't started the fight with an upper hand._

"_Damn you! What else can you take!?" the blond roared furiously and lunged at the samurai at amazing speeds. His right knee crashed against the swordsman's gut with a thunderous echo, "Who needs someone who calls themselves a god only to steal everything!?" he screamed and punched the samurai on the face._

_Punching when mad and fully serious, he created a vacuum that rocketed the samurai into a stone wall. A normal man would've died, but the swordsman spun his body around and sunk his feet into the wall. Due to Naruto's punch, the rock cracked as if a meteor hit it, but the samurai looked fine. It only drove the boy to madness as he lunged again, throwing wild kicks and punches that the black armored man stopped._

_Until he brought up his fist and slammed it down like a hammer, breaking the helmet and revealing a face filled with hatred, "You are a required sacrifice, boy!" the man roared as he grabbed the kid's face, and hit him with his other hand which clenched his sword. Each time his knuckles cracked into the blond warrior's ribcage he felt a small jolt of satisfaction, "For a world where I can control the outcome of wars, for there to be an end to this foolishness, I will sacrifice the few that you and your kin are for the sake of the many!"_

"_But it's our life!" Naruto roared and slammed his shin on the swordsman's side, cracking his breastplate. Once freed and on his feet, he started to punch him at lightning fast speeds, making sure with each punch that the swordsman didn't fall just to keep punching him. If the man tilted to one side, the boy would hit him to force him to stand, "At least let us choose if we see that as worthy or if we want to fight for some better reason than your selfish, blood-soaked dream!"_

"_Naïve brat!" the man roared and kicked him, sending the boy flying to the other side of the tree, and then crashing through seven trees which were snapped in half._

_As he rolled to a stop, the boy jolted back to his feet and glared, shouting as he charged back and leaped over the body of water, "If you want to sacrifice a life to stop evil, use yours! Don't force others to bend to your stupid whims or take pity on your delusions!"_

_Bringing up the fan, the man tried to stop the kid's fist, but the punch was infused with a crimson energy which irradiated hatred. Against it, the man's weapon broke, and the kid's fist sunk into his chest..._

_He shook out the blood. Leaving yet another body added to the pile of corpses behind him._

"_Weak old fool. Another madman, thinking he could ascend past humanity and become a monster. Tch…same as all the rest. Scum!" The boy reaffixed his fox mask, walking off without a care._

_And so it went. For year after year into his adult years. At age 22. When he met a man that changed everything in his life. With a single punch, his fountain of techniques, his impossible speed, his incredible strength, all of that had been removed from him._

_No matter how many times he had gotten up. He kept being thrown down, until finally the last vestiges of his monstrous nature had been ripped away and he had reacted by breaking down._

_He had wasted so much of his life, so many kills, so many battles, and all of it to be taken from him by an impossibly strong foe that he couldn't win against._

_What that man had told him changed everything, and from then, he resolved to become a hero. In three years, the Hero association had been formed, and the rest was history. Naruto met Tatsumaki, became her only friend and possibly more, and he bide his time. Waiting, compiling information, and eagerly awaiting the day that he and his hero would meet._

X-x-X-x-X

"Man, what a wild ride. Hey, Saitama-san, Genos-kun, that should do us for lunch. I'll pay it for today, consider it thanks for being so nice to me and Tatsu-chan." Naruto said as he pulled out a frog-shaped wallet, tossing down some money and then leaving with his arms held behind his back. Saitama followed him, whistling to himself while he and Genos were getting ready to get on a train straight back home to Z-City.

"Hey Naruto!" Saitama called out, the blond turning his head with Tatsumaki at his side, "Yeah Saitama-san?"

"Let's team up real soon. You look like you could be really helpful if we find something fun to do." Saitama offered, Naruto letting his lips spread into a wide grin, "Sounds like fun! I'm in! I'll bring along Tatsu-chan if she can behave herself!"

He said, laughing with his hands in his pockets even though Tatsumaki flashed him a particularly savage little grin.

"Oh crap." He swallowed as she was getting closer to winning their bet.

The entire day passed by, and he had his head lowered in utter servility. Tatsumaki had her legs crossed, a smug grin on her face, and her feet resting on his back.

"Oh man…you're going to run me ragged for a year…" he made sure to carefully look up at her face, …Even if one pupil shot down and absorbed every last detail of what he got to see thanks to their position.

"You'll rue the day that you insulted and acted so arrogantly to this Tatsumaki, Dead Last…No! Red Steel Naruto!" she crossed her arms and preened herself as he was forced to get up and give her back a massage. She forcibly corrected his name, letting him know that from this day on, he'd spend every moment of it becoming her worthy equal and a fellow S-rank.

Already he could feel Gama-chan blaming him for the coming lean year, and he let comedic streams of tears run down his eyes. She owned him now and both knew it.

Truth be told, neither of them were against that sort of position. And she let him a rare kindness. He was able to embrace her from behind, hugging her while she had a hand on her cheek, smugly sitting atop her favorite chair, the one with the heating pad in the seat and the reclining back.

"Remember this Red Steel Naruto. This Tatsumaki will own you, down to the last centimeter of hair and the last worthless scrap of cloth on your body!" he gave her cheek a kiss, whispering playfully into her ear while she stiffened like a rod, "I look forward to that Tatsu-chan~!"

Her eyes shot to him, he flinched, several tense seconds past as her hair frizzled up, her face burned red until at last she looked away with a puffed-up pout in her cheeks, "…call me Tatsu-sama from now on until next year. Kiss me only when I say you can. And don't you dare touch me unless you're giving me a head-pat… or a hug. Anything further from that, will be at my discretion. I _own _you Naruto! Don't forget that!"

"Understood Tatsu-sama~." He rubbed her head, her tsundere pout not going away while she glared at the wall.

Starting from tomorrow, he'd be her personal servant. Neither were sure which of them was looking forward to it more, but both were willing to take it as far as it'd go.

X-x-X-X-x

And that is that. Like I said, I'm not sure if I want to make this a series or a one shot. So, I'll just leave it as a one shot for now and if anyone wants me to continue this, feel free to tell me. This was just a little labor of love for the One-Punch Man Series, and somewhat of an ignoble return for me into the Naruto Fandom.

I've been working with The Swordslinger behind the scenes for a while, so you have me to blame for many of his wilder ideas. We hope you enjoyed this return, so feel free to shower us both with rage and complaints if you have any.

Tatsumaki is ridiculously fun to write if it's not been clear yet, and she's unarguably best girl next to Fubuki. It's no wonder that Yusuke Murata and One-sensei love putting her into stuff and why Mad-House Studios enjoyed her so much they made a lot of extra side material with her. This story was mostly so me and the Sword-Slinger could gleefully indulge in Tatsumaki's status as a total Tsundere for everything it was worth.

He'll give his personal notes here, so for now. Farewell, so long, until we meet again! This is the Lord of Pages, off to record another chapter!

_**Beta's Notes: **_Even if I didn't pull my weight as much as usual, I'm glad my little bro had a blast doing this and that he got it out of his folder. Enjoy it.


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